I had one of those movie moments at about the age of 24. Standing in the middle of the trading room where I worked at a Boston brokerage firm, everything stopped. Everything got quiet. And I heard the words in my head, “What do I want to be when I grow up?”
What did I mean by “grow up”?
At the time, I felt like a child, despite the fact that I’d grown up nicely. You know, I had the job, the money and my own place.
But, I had no idea who I was.
I had defined myself according to my father’s standards. My identity was based on what I achieved. And I achieved a lot.
Where was my mother in all this? She identified herself through traditional female roles. Mother. Teacher. Volunteer.
The problem is. I “believed” my dad didn’t respect my mom. And I took sides.
I had two choices: Be like my dad or be like my mom.
I sided with my dad.
THAT sealed my fate.
I’ve since come to realize that when I asked the question, “What do I want to be when I grow up,” I was actually asking, “Who is Sonia as a grown woman?”
It was the little girl Sonia who chose to follow a prescribed “man’s path”. But what might Sonia the woman choose?
I spent the next 25 years of my life discovering what my options were.
And perhaps that’s why it was so confusing.
Women in our country and in this day have SO MANY OPTIONS.
While this may sound like a good thing, it might not be.
Not if we don’t have a North Star.
It took me a long time, but I figured out who Sonia is as a grown woman. That in and of itself is a huge relief.
But perhaps even more importantly, I discovered HOW to answer the question,
“Who are you, as the grown woman you are meant to be?”
I KNOW many women are asking that same question, even if they can’t find the words. I know this because these women are my clients.
They are highly accomplished professional women who know they are powerful, but don’t always feel it. They are women who’ve made it in their careers, but they don’t feel fulfilled. They are women who have all kinds of worldly success, but can’t make an intimate relationship with a man work if their lives depended on it. They are smart, capable go-getters who know all the right answers, but can’t comprehend why their answers won’t solve their wordless problem: The feeling that something is just not right. Something is missing.
In my search through an ocean of options I found my guides and mentors. They were other women who showed me I had more than two choices. In them I saw the different glimmers of myself shining back, until ultimately I uncovered my own inner North Star.
We each have an Inner North Star. It guides us to the questions we don’t have words for, but we feel. It guides us to our answers. It guides us to solutions. It illuminates the birthplace for things you can’t even imagine, let alone believe are possible.
My North Star has guided me back to my roots. I am a woman among women. And I’m here to help other women uncover the North Star they were born with. The world needs lost women to find their way home to themselves.
Seek illumination and begin to discover your blind spots.
Take the quiz at www.findyourblindspots.com
I’m currently offering 4-session- mini-coaching packages as I celebrate being in business for 20 years! If you feel a seeking a greater clarity and would like some help to come home to yourself, this might be just the thing. For details go to: www.soniammiller.com/mini-coaching-package-introductory-offer.
