With Valentine’s Day around the corner, we decided to feature relationship wisdom this month. Enjoy our February series of tips, tools and advice.
Q: I’ve been married for ten years and have two children. Sometimes I feel so burnt out. I have to do everything for my family. My husband won’t lift a finger. He never offers to help and when I ask him to do things they never get done. How do I get him to change?!
A: Has it ever occurred to you that the problem might not be with your husband, but with you? It’s certainly possible that your husband might need to evolve here. But wanting him to change is a waste of energy. The power lies in your willingness to change. The Law of Attraction consistently demonstrates that we get what we give. What usually happens in relationships is that we start out in-love, tripping over ourselves to make the other person happy. Eventually, however, we can start to take our relationship for granted. We forget to give and instead focus on getting. It’s easy to blame him, but if you take responsibility for your state of consciousness (because consciousness creates), you may realize that you’re bringing resentment and focusing on lack. Seek ways to bring acceptance and appreciation and things will change for the better:
- Make sure he feels valued. Less is more. Everyday: a hug, a kiss, a thank you.
- Ask for what you need. He will never become a mind-reader. Accept it.
- Let him do things his way and on his time line. Give up controlling how he does things. And when he does, show him your appreciation no matter what his efforts produce.
- Bite your tongue. If you’re about to tell him how to do things, correct him, or make a point, just STOP. That’s your ego and it doesn’t serve your relationship.
- If you want something he’s just not inclined to do, find another way. When you stay in your heart and open to other possibilities, he will help you find a solution to your problem.
In all relationships, when you bring the thing you think is missing, rather than expecting the other person to fill the void, real transformation is possible.
Want to learn how to experience more of what you want in your relationships? Join me at my next free teleclass. For more info CLICK HERE: From Lonely To Loved: 3 Relationship Lies That Keep You From Experiencing Joy, Connection And Fulfillment.
